Beginnings
by DarkPheonix 666
Summary: Mikasa and Jean have been dating a year now; but even they can have moments of insecurities and jealousy. Jean wondering if he is good enough for Mikasa; and Mikasa hating that Jean can't see what a great guy he is. JeanKasa, MikaJean, (be kind with the reviews as I really worked hard on this)
1. Chapter 1

Jean still couldn't believe this was real; that he had finally gotten the girl of his dreams. Little over a year ago, he never would have believed this would happen. He would continue watching her from afar his heart aching with love.

He would have thought throughout his school years he would continue to love Mikasa but let his feelings stew inside of him. Unable to tell her his feelings and Mikasa ignoring him still. Living the miserable life of being unnoticed and seemingly invisible to her apart from the odd conversation.

But he had finally gotten the courage to confess to Mikasa about his feelings for her. He had been a blushing stuttering mess but he managed to finally tell the raven-haired girl how he felt. It was out in the open and he no longer had to live with them eating him from the inside out.

All the feelings that had accumulated over his first meeting Mikasa; the year he turned 15 and started middle school he managed to tell the girl of his dreams his feelings. Though he spent the first few months hiding his feelings and acting odd around her; he confessed to her during Christmas while at a house party hosted by Armin.

He found her drinking mulled wine and standing out in the cold gazing at the stars. Her beautiful black hair gleaming in the moonlight; her breath warm in the cold air. The red scarf wound around her neck keeping her face warm from the cold.

He has approached her quietly and commented on how it was a beautiful night to which she had agreed; one of the few things they had in common being stargazing. They then gazed up at the stars in unison not speaking a word to each other.

After mentally preparing himself for about 10 minutes Jean had awkwardly told Mikasa how he felt about her. It went down along the lines of "I'm just an average guy standing here hoping the pretty girl will notice me".

Cheesy as all hell, yes; ripping off pretty woman (just a little). But a no less meaningful and romantic confession all the same. He had been mentally preparing on what to say for little over a year and it was best that came to mind.

Mikasa had stared at him quietly; her black eyes lighting up with surprise at his somewhat cheesy and yet adorable line. There had been an awkward silence and Jean had felt like an idiot.

Mikasa had then come forward and cupped his hands with her own. She then breathed on them to heat them up and then said "Will you stand under the stars with me until we're too cold to move and our hands are numb".

Jean had been quite stunned by her comment completely unsuspecting it; and shocked by how she could say something so romantic. For a short while he had gazed at her in awe unable to speak.

After that she had smiled shyly tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. After snapping out his daze Jean had hugged her tightly relieved that she had said yes. She had then hummed in amusement and hugged him back.

He had confessed minutes later that he believed her to never want to say yes. To her flat out rejecting him and then him planning on crying at home with a tub of ice cream. She had laughed and said "I'm glad to disappoint you".

It was now a year later after his confession; they were both 16 and seniors in middle school. They were now dating and Jean had finally got the girl he had been crushing on since being a junior. It was fair to say Jean was the happiest he had ever been in a long time.

As far as feelings went as a couple; Jean was more expressive in his feelings towards Mikasa on a regular basis. He was openly affectionate towards her and yet somehow bashful around her.

Whenever he looked at Mikasa all the words he wanted to say somehow became lost. He could never get his words out without gazing at her and then snapping out of his daydream.

Mikasa as always was emotionally withdrawn but showed her genuine care for Jean in odd ways. However, Jean understood this and it became like a private conversation between the two.

Next to Eren he became one of the few people who could understand Mikasa's personality and moods; beginning to understand how she thought and how she acted. Though he still found himself surprised every now and again.

The two would get jealous but very rarely mind you; self-consciousness or misunderstandings arising from the shadows but quickly chased away again. However, they were still together and always managed to make up in the end.

Jean would get understandably jealous of how close Eren and Mikasa would be sometimes; however, tried to be understanding as they were childhood friends and all. Eren was the first friend she ever made after her traumatic childhood when she lost both her parents.

Part of it stemmed from never being popular as a kid; constantly being bullied and belittled for every single thing he did. Part of the reason he was such a dick before was because of all the people who treated him like shit.

However, there were small changes that had occurred between the two after he had confessed his feelings for the Ackerman girl. Small things that were not obvious and yet not exactly invisible to others.

Jean found himself feeling happier but also being more tolerant with people instead of snapping; reining in his temper considerably. He developed a better sense of patience and finding ways to calm himself.

Mikasa in return would show subtle but genuine care for Jean in her own way; though to most people it was hard to see. She made him feel loved and cared for in ways nobody else could.

But they were happy; maybe somewhat of an odd couple but happy. Every day they learned new things for each other but they found comfort in the small things. And though it seemed stupid; that was enough. Because sometimes small things meant so much more than an explosion of everything at once.


	2. C2: Doubts

**Jean watches Mikasa and Eren argue again but thinks on their relationship**

 **Fluff ensues**

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 **Darkpheonix666**

Jean sighed heavily as he watched Mikasa have another argument with her adopted brother Eren Yeager. It was a common occurrence and everyone including Armin was pretty much used to the whole scenario by now. The whole thing usually happened because Eren had a stupid idea that would often get him into trouble.

Many people either watched when it happened or just avoided them completely. It often became an awkward situation that nobody really liked to be a part of. Eren was known for his shitty temper and lashing out at people when mad. Mikasa was one of the few people who could handle him when he was like this.

Jean just stood where he was not knowing what to do with himself. While he knew, they had lived together since they were 10 he couldn't help but get a little upset. Knowing the two of them had such a strong bond he would never understand often made him feel left out and alienated from his girlfriend.

Mikasa was not someone who was very expressive with her emotions. However, she showed a genuine fondness for Eren which she rarely showed around others. She was very caring and he was on her mind a lot. He was more often that not the cause of her main concern which she put aside above everything else.

He knew Mikasa would never cheat on him and was not the type to hurt others, a deep swirl of emotions flooded inside his chest. Mikasa had never looked at him with the same fondness she did Eren. Anyone could see Mikasa acted differently around Eren than she did other people. Anyone with half a brain could see it. The two had a special relationship that only the likes of Armin could somewhat understand.

She babied him to the point of almost acting like a second mother to him. Making sure he was on time for school, that he ate breakfast and never got into trouble. She always kept an eye on Eren and he was rarely ever out of her thoughts. That was what caused Jean to feel some form of jealousy and self-consciousness about the situation.

Jean knew he wasn't exactly sunshine and rainbows, but he wasn't nearly as big a turd as Eren acted half the time. But god damn it he tried to be a good guy, he really did. His mother had raised him to respect and be kind to women which he always was. He was nothing but patient and understanding with Mikasa but made sure to always be good to her.

Sometimes he was actually surprised that Mikasa had accepted his confession at all. That they were actually officially a couple and that this wasn't a dream. Some nights he would actually wonder if this wasn't some delusion his mind had created. His mind unable to cope with the fact she may have rejected him so he immersed himself in this fantasy.

He bowed his head quietly hiding his expression and gripped his fists into tight balls. He probably looked like a sulky brat right now but he couldn't help himself, he just loved Mikasa so much. She was his everything. He had spent the past year fawning over her like a lovesick puppy. The day he was finally able to be with her was one of the happiest days of his life.

He had done back flips, dancing, crying, laughing and all out excitement when he got home. His mother hadn't seen him so happy in her life and had just left him be. But she could tell it was something good and decided to make rice filled omelettes for dinner to celebrate the good news.

She was intellectual, beautiful, caring, mysterious and strong willed. She was the smartest girl in their school and without a doubt one of the best looking. She was the whole package, brains and beauty. Mikasa was in every way his dream girl and everything he wanted in a woman. He would never dream of cheating on her.

He on the other hand was intelligent, somewhat funny and a loyal friend. He was one of the top students in their class ranking 5th in studies underneath Eren. He was a good leader but he wasn't exactly Armin level genius. He was attractive but he wasn't exactly drowning in love letters.

To have someone as amazing as Mikasa as his girlfriend. Words couldn't describe how fucking wonderful it felt. But the fear that she may get tired of him still lingered at the back of his mind. Feeling she may find someone better whom would make her happier than he did, the idea terrified him completely.

He felt sick inside as his insecurities began to surface from deep within his psyche. He hated showing this face to anyone because he felt naked in an emotional sense. He was showing the vulnerable side that he usually kept locked away from anyone. The side he tended to hide under a pride filled mask with a big ego.

As a kid, he had been picked on by the local neighbourhood kids for being friendly and soft. But they had also harassed him for being somewhat chubby at that age. Let's just say it had damaged his self-confidence more than a little. Because of this he had become somewhat of an ass because of the way he had been treated back then.

Marco, Connie or his mother were the only people to see him this weak. It took a lot of trust to show this side of himself to others. They were of the few people he let his guard down around and showed his softer side to. Because they had earned his trust and it took a special someone to understand just how precious it was.

While he did show his better side to Mikasa he still hid some parts of himself from her. Because he felt if he didn't act like the perfect lover, she would be disappointed. Knowing just how awkward, shy and damaged he was on the inside scared him. Knowing he acted like an ass because people had hurt him in the past.

Quickly he turned on his heels and walked off as fast as his legs could carry him. He needed to get head space. He needed to get away from here and find clean air, he felt like he was suffocating under his own self doubt.

* * *

Jean was sat on the steps round the back of the school quietly staring into space. Casually watching the clouds roll by through an endless blue sky as he pondered over the many thoughts in his head. At least now he was feeling more rational and level headed than his more moody side earlier.

He couldn't show this side of himself to Mikasa or he would look like an ass. It was no secret that Jean didn't think clearly when he was upset or angry. It was no surprise why people said he was stubborn has a horse. Though he hated the nickname there were times when he couldn't help but secretly agree with it.

He was able to escape briefly from his own self-consciousness. His own problems and insecurities to just stop to admire the world around him for a while. Nothing else seemed to matter and he could just relax and breathe comfortably. His rationality coming back to light and his anger slipping away.

Suddenly he felt a hand gently hit the back of his head snapping his train of thought. He hadn't even heard that person coming. God, he really had been out of it. He had been known to often be a bit of a daydreamer, but sometimes it was just fun to let his mind wonder and allow himself to calm.

"Got a lot of nerve wondering off like that Kirstein. Didn't you ask me to lunch today?" Mikasa said in a slightly annoyed tone. Why had he just up and gone like that when he said he would wait for her? She knew that Eren could be a bother sometimes but it wasn't something she couldn't handle and she had hoped he would be patient about it?

Jean stared at her blankly and then bowed his head sadly at his own stupidity. He had promised her, but he had been so upset that he couldn't be around her. He would have said something stupid and made it worse. The last person he ever wanted to let his temper out on was Mikasa, he would never forgive himself otherwise.

"I…. you were busy. I didn't want to bother you" he said awkwardly. In truth, he was actually scared of being teased for the face he was making upon seeing her so close to Eren. The fact that they were arguing and Mikasa had been stressed out again. But more so that she had been giving him that emotional, doe eyed expression hadn't helped either.

He would have acted like a jackass and just been sulky around her. If he did such a thing he would only feel bad about it later so he had gone off by himself to calm down. Rather do the mature thing then act like a sulky brat in front of his girlfriend. Not like Eren who tended to not give a shit and let everyone see him pissed.

Mikasa blinked in confusion and then saw Jean was scowling a little. She couldn't remember the last time she had seen him this upset before. A small smile spread across her face as she clicked as to what was going on. She then knelt down and sat beside the ash brown haired boy quietly. "Are you jealous?" she teased.

It wasn't very often she got to have some fun and tease people. Not that she enjoyed making fun of people in a mean way, but when it was just for fun then she sometimes partook. When it came to messing with people she was more like Connie, she never did it to hurt people just out of pure affection and mischief.

Jean felt his face heat up and his cheeks turn beetroot. Yes, he was jealous. He was so jealous that it made him want to punch a wall and then get mad about how his hand hurt. But that was what she did to him. She made him want to wrap her up in his arms and never let go so nobody else would take her from him. He just loved her so much.

He had never felt the way he did about her for anyone in his life. He couldn't remember meeting anyone who made him act the way he did around her. In all honesty she was his first crush and he had never really been as crazy about anyone as he was her. There was just something about her that made him feel like he was floating on cloud 9.

Mikasa chuckled to herself quietly under her breath. Jean was indeed jealous of Eren. While she could understand why he felt this way, she had no romantic feelings for Eren whatsoever. The guy had been her first friend growing up and had been raised like her brother. She had lived beside him all her life and she was simply looking out for him.

After her parents were killed and she was sent to live with her uncle Levi, Eren had helped her adjust to her new life. He had been the first person to play with her and then introduced her to his friend Armin. She had been 10 when it happened and at a very difficult age, but thanks to him she was able to come out of her shell a little.

Eren had been there for her during her worst times and because of that she was very close to him. They had a bond that not many people understood and was often mistaken as romantic. They had many unspoken conversations and a deep trust in one another, non romantic simply platonic and loyal to each other.

But Jean was different which is why she liked him. He was a sweet and considerate guy deep down with a very mature moral code. But more so she helped him see the better qualities of himself that he often overlooked as did other people. She saw him as more than what people perceived him to be.

Jean was indeed hot headed and had quite a brash temper. But he was fueled by his emotions and insecurities as well as his care and affection for those around him. However, when needed be, he could very caring individual and a good leader in moments of trouble.

But Jean was unable to see his qualities and often had insecurities about himself. However, this caused his friends and Mikasa herself to worry about him. To know he thought so little of himself. He really needed to have more pride in his qualities, but like the saying went "Sometimes it takes someone else to see the best in you".

She then moved closer to Jean, closing the gap between them and kissed his cheek softly. The action caused Jean to stiffen at the unexpected contact and his eyes to widen in shock. His cheeks colouring a lovely pink with embarrassment. However he was indeed very happy to receive affection from Mikasa, more than he could describe.

She then pulled away, her black eyes gazing into his own brown ones affectionately. He was special to her and she did care about him. But she had other people she loved too and sometimes he had to share. She knew it wasn't easy for him but sometimes you had to compromise to make a relationship work.

But Mikasa didn't have to say anything to let Jean know she cared about him. Her actions spoke louder than words when it came to showing her affection for someone. She conveyed her affections physically rather than vocally, though it was confusing at first when you came to understand her it made more sense.

Jean bowed his head shyly hiding his face from her. He felt like such an idiot for even thinking she would cheat on him or didn't care. But he couldn't help himself, he had never had a girlfriend before. Growing up he was used to being cast aside or mocked for even trying to get close to anyone, so as a result he clung to her.

"I'm sorry" he apologized shamefully. He really needed to grow up and stop being so sulky. But he couldn't help it, when it came to matters of the heart he often acted like an idiot. But whenever he gazed into her eyes he felt his heart race a mile a minute and all his thoughts seemed to become messed up and nothing else mattered.

Mikasa smiled at him fondly "Nobody has ever acted rationally when they care about someone, right? Besides I was neglecting you a little too back there" she said gently. She did feel pretty bad for getting caught up in Eren's drama and mood swings again, but if she didn't calm him down it would only end badly with Eren getting into trouble as per usual.

Jean was truly a kind person and a logical thinker. But when his emotions and temper got in the way he tended to act brashly and not think properly. But at least it meant he cared. She could tell in the way he looked at her, the way he always tried to spoil her and the way he was always conscious of her feelings and well being.

Jean smiled and then moved closer to Mikasa smiling shyly "So…lunch" he said awkwardly. He had no idea of what would be on the menu or even available by this point. Sasha had most likely stolen half the food to eat by herself at this point. The woman was a walking food maniac, she was always eating or carrying food on her.

Mikasa then laughed in amusement and revealed a plastic bag of food. She had bumped into Sasha on the way and had asked her to share some with her. However she had promised Sasha that she would buy her fast food on the way home after school sometime, to which the latter had happily taken the bargain.

She then handed Jean a pork cutlet sandwich with a drink. She had also got a melon pan to share for dessert afterwards. She herself had a boxed lunch she made this morning after making one for Eren too. She wasn't exactly a pro chef but she was pretty good at home cooking and she did enjoy it.

"You owe me a second date after this one" Mikasa said bluntly but the anger in her tone was gone. After running off like that he had best be ready to take her out somewhere nice to apologize. He had best make it up to her for abandoning his girlfriend and leaving her alone after hoping to meet with him during break.

But then again it meant she could start planning on places to go for their date. She had been hoping to go to the movies sometime and maybe a long walk. However, since they had school and exams they hadn't had much free time to act more lovey dovey.

Jean blushed shyly but then nodded in agreement. He didn't know what movies would be in but god damn he would try. He deserved it after acting like such an ass earlier. Because Mikasa was worth it, she was worth everything. And he would make sure to treat her like a damn princess.


End file.
